people say, the first time is always the hardest. So i thought, today is gonna be hell. but to be honest, it wasn't. today i discovered stuff that i wasn't able to see for a long time. its like i was born with a new set of eyes, and i looked at the world in a different way. everything is much better now. its like a burden is lifted from my shoulders. but deep down, there's still doubt. is he really that mean? but when i think about it, he was. the more i think of it, the more I'll get confused. i loved him with all my heart and soul. and i feel like that part of me died yesterday. who am i today? am i the same person i was before? is life going to be the same? or it going to be better? or is it going to be worse? i have no idea what the future holds. and I'm scared as hell to find out. i really am.